“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”

So it took me forever to figure out how to start out my first post...and I still am not really sure, but either way it is definitely time. I'm going into my second year of college and I had no idea that it was possible for one to grow so much in a year...but the again I guess that's how all first years are.

Even though there was a lot of growing and trying of new things (i.e. friends, lifestyles, classes, mindsets) it all came very quickly and I got wound up in it. I sort of let go of a lot of things that made me who I was; the things I enjoyed and it made me very restless. However, now that Summer's rolled around, I've been able to wind down and reflect. The first conclusion that I came to for this disquiet was the lack of writing in my life...from fifth grade I always had something that I wrote my thoughts on - usually just streams-of-conciousness on scraps of papers in my backpack, that would never be found again- nonetheless it helped me organize my thoughts. So I decided to start this blog as a venue to rekindle the connection with the Vanessa that spent hours on the computer sitting in awe and soaking in everything she could from the Def Poetry Jam Poets, the Vanessa that would wake up at 6 a.m. to go to Pilates because she nothing else compared to the feeling of control it gave her, the Vanessa that would go out and run five miles when she felt happy/confused/angry/anything, the Vanessa that chose spending time in a bookstore over anything else.

As Anais Nin very eloquently put, "Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." So what I'm getting at is, I like the music enthusiast, free-love supporting, struggling to get closer to my religion that college has brought out in me, but at the same time, it would be a shame to let go of my past loves for no good reason.

I admire eloquence over anything else and what better way to attain this quality than by writing? So join me and perhaps we can find new loves together.

Oh and the "Woman in the Mirror" thing? Based off of my boy MJ's song : ) time for a change.